Every now and again you're caught up in a moment of lets say DESPERATION. Desperation to achieve something. It can be anything (personal views of that particular individual). I think I'm at that very point in my life now. This is when everything you try goes unbelievably wrong. When in the midst of all your fears, pain, agony, worries and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere deep down inside your head you can hear the cries and echo of a shrill voice shouting 'ENOUGH with this bollocks' Prove yourself.
Despite the enjoy-life-while-you-can wisdom of Ecclesiastes, I've been mildly depressed. Partly because I'm exhausted and partly because I'm desperate to achieve something before I turn 23. I'm struggling to keep up with my priorities and I feel really despicable.You know the kinda feeling... It's like I'm starving yet at the same time I'm feeling nauseous. I'm striving to achieve something which I've no idea what it is. Lame I know.I've loads of friends and they try to understand but, how can they understand when I can't even fathom what's erroneous. No one's threatening to kneecap me to achieve the lets say 'indifference' I'm after but still per se.
Another thing about desperation is it lures you into a land of dumbness. You can't think properly nor acting smartly. At the moment I'm more or less feeling like the fool 'Roman Abramovich' who apparently is willing to pay £50 million + Anelka for an out of form striker Torres. Desperate people tend to do stupid things. So I've decided to take an offensive against this mild depression about my desperation. Ive become annoyed at it. :P. I'm not sure what the original evolutionary value of this desperation induced depression was but, I can guarantee you this. Mine is not helping me to thing straight, or concentrate on my work or even blog regularly. Bummer I know.
Because of this so called 'Desperation Induced Depression' my brain seems to distancing itself from me. Since my college days (ie- for the past 6 months) I feel like I'm taking a long slow slide into a pool of dumbness and ignorance. Truth is I've become embarrassingly ignorant. If things continue at this rate by my 25th birthday I'll be spending my life watching Koffee with Karan season 7 and drooling into a bucket. *Scary to think*
My expensive college education is receding into a cloud of haze. I can see this happen right in front of my eyes. Sure, I remember loads of stuff from my college days like the Goodday cookies left open under the desk is edible even after 7 days as long as you don't expect it to be crunchy. But, as for the bona fide book reading I practically remember nothing. Pathetic!!
Maybe I'll ponder over these thoughts with a pack of Oreo's and a jug of Coffee. Until then...
PS: Is this even an apt title for this blog or is my ignorance and dumbness taking over my brain??
Despite the enjoy-life-while-you-can wisdom of Ecclesiastes, I've been mildly depressed. Partly because I'm exhausted and partly because I'm desperate to achieve something before I turn 23. I'm struggling to keep up with my priorities and I feel really despicable.You know the kinda feeling... It's like I'm starving yet at the same time I'm feeling nauseous. I'm striving to achieve something which I've no idea what it is. Lame I know.I've loads of friends and they try to understand but, how can they understand when I can't even fathom what's erroneous. No one's threatening to kneecap me to achieve the lets say 'indifference' I'm after but still per se.
Another thing about desperation is it lures you into a land of dumbness. You can't think properly nor acting smartly. At the moment I'm more or less feeling like the fool 'Roman Abramovich' who apparently is willing to pay £50 million + Anelka for an out of form striker Torres. Desperate people tend to do stupid things. So I've decided to take an offensive against this mild depression about my desperation. Ive become annoyed at it. :P. I'm not sure what the original evolutionary value of this desperation induced depression was but, I can guarantee you this. Mine is not helping me to thing straight, or concentrate on my work or even blog regularly. Bummer I know.
Because of this so called 'Desperation Induced Depression' my brain seems to distancing itself from me. Since my college days (ie- for the past 6 months) I feel like I'm taking a long slow slide into a pool of dumbness and ignorance. Truth is I've become embarrassingly ignorant. If things continue at this rate by my 25th birthday I'll be spending my life watching Koffee with Karan season 7 and drooling into a bucket. *Scary to think*
My expensive college education is receding into a cloud of haze. I can see this happen right in front of my eyes. Sure, I remember loads of stuff from my college days like the Goodday cookies left open under the desk is edible even after 7 days as long as you don't expect it to be crunchy. But, as for the bona fide book reading I practically remember nothing. Pathetic!!
Maybe I'll ponder over these thoughts with a pack of Oreo's and a jug of Coffee. Until then...
PS: Is this even an apt title for this blog or is my ignorance and dumbness taking over my brain??
